If you’re reading this, I’m guessing you’re stuck in a chapter of your life story that you want to pivot out of as soon as possible.
There’s a good chance you already have a vision of what that looks like too. Maybe it’s:
- Speaking up more for people and issues you care about
- Applying for a new role at your dream company
- Starting a side hustle or project that you’ve been putting off
- Moving to a new city or even country
Even if you’re not clear on what it looks like, you know it’s time to stop sitting in the overwhelming swirl of thoughts that keeps you right where you are now.
So how do you move from procrastination and analysis paralysis?
It starts by shifting our mindsets.
What is your mindset? This definition sums it up perfectly:
“Your mindset is a set of beliefs that shape how you make sense of the world and yourself.” It influences how you think, feel, and behave in any given situation.” — VeryWellMind
The goal of many self-help practices, such as coaching or therapy, is to change or shift your mindset so that all those other things go as well.
Below are the three most significant mindset shifts necessary when making a change. These are based on my experience with clients and myself, quite honestly.
Which one of these mindset shifts feels most necessary to you?
Calm the overwhelm—seek out pleasure and rest.
Raise your hand if you’re overwhelmed. If we’re alike in any way, shape, or form, you’re probably overwhelmed for at least one of the following reasons:
- You have so many ideas that you don’t know where to start.
- You feel like you’re running out of time to achieve your goals.
- Likewise, you doubt whether you can make your goal happen.
There are probably a million other ways that overwhelm takes over your mind and body (and if you’re dramatic like me, then probably also your soul). It’s swirling in your thoughts; you might feel the tension in your neck and shoulders, and your soul is probably drained.
While it takes a lot of practice, the shift from overwhelming starts with taking a pause, checking in with your whole self—mind, body, soul, and spirit—and giving yourself what you need.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “I don’t even have time for a pause!” Give me what I need. I require a vacation, a margarita, and a new life!
I hear you! And even if you don’t have two weeks to take that vacation, you have 30 seconds to take a deep breath, show yourself compassion, or even pick a new, more affirming thought at the moment.
Some questions to ask yourself when you’re feeling stuck in overwhelmed:
- How can I best take care of my needs at this moment?
- How can I infuse pleasure into this if I have to do this thing?
- What do I need for rest today?
Stop over-committing—focus on doing one thing well.
I hear you from across my keyboard: “Klarrisa, I have a huge to-do list, and I can’t just stop doing things!”
And maybe that’s true. Perhaps everything on your to-do list is necessary for survival in this capitalistic world.
But are they?
- Which ones can you let slide or maybe not do perfectly?
- Which things on your to-do list will bring you closer to what you want your life to look like?
- What would it look like to give your attention and intention to one thing and less to the rest?
I often see my clients (and myself) adding more things to our to-do lists. These come in helpful ways, like cleaning out your closet/kitchen/house, helping a friend/neighbor/colleague/stranger, or, my favorite, taking another course to learn how to be more efficient with your time and energy.
These are all possibly helpful and productive tasks. But are they getting you closer to your current goal or vision for your life?
If not, then do an audit of your to-do list today. If you need to, break up the tasks into two columns—what needs to be done and what you want to get done. Make sure you choose something you want to do every day. Give that your passion and energy, and give the leftovers to the tasks that “need” to get done.
If you’re still skeptical, I challenge you to try it out for a week and see what changes for you in your thoughts, feelings, actions, and beliefs (aka your mindset).
Ask for the support you require.
Stop thinking you have to do this alone. This is the biggest mistake I’ve made in years. I felt that to shift these mindsets; I had to go at it alone with meditation, journaling, and walks in nature. While all those things can be supportive, when I look back at my life, the times I succeeded are when I reached out for the help I needed to get to my next goal.
- I succeeded in my last corporate job because I was mentored by strong, extraordinary women who taught me how to speak up and be seen, even if it went against the cultural norm.
- If you’re reading this, you probably know I’m a coach. And I’m a coach because someone supported me on my journey of realizing this was my path.
- I’m writing this blog post because my community of other entrepreneurs encouraged me to follow my passion—writing long-form—instead of following what everyone else is doing on social media.
Two out of three examples are specific types of support I asked for. I asked for a coach and asked to join an entrepreneurial community. Yes, I could have done these things alone, but it would have taken a lot longer and probably more stress and tears.
If you want to change your life, whether in your career, lifestyle, location, or whatever, then you don’t have to do it alone. There are tons of resources—blogs, books, courses—and there are also actual human beings who have become experts in change and transformation and can help you.